Want Some Candy?
by Blazing Sceptile
Summary: Celebi's attempt to make Mew some candy. Unfortunately, things rarely go as planned. Light CelebixMew, with lots of randomness thrown in literally.


_This fic was made for humor purposes. I hope it's not too similar to __**Of Pancakes and Dragons **__by SilverUmbra, so I'm putting the name here just in case._

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon.**

**Warning: The below recipe is ****DANGEROUS.**** For the safety and protection of those around you, please do not try it at home or anywhere else.**

* * *

"So, Uxie, what do I need to make candy?" Celebi said, while finishing the last piece of the candy that the other Legendary had given her.

"Nothing much. Why would you want to make candy, anyway?" The Being of Knowledge replied, facing Celebi with his eyes closed.

"Give me the answer to my question already." The forest fairy crossed her small arms across her chest and glared, her sapphire eyes unblinking.

"Fine, fine. Just milk, sugar and honey should do the trick. I'd bet it's for Mew-"

"Shut up. If you say one more syllable, I'll ensure that the whole Legendary community knows about your secret crush on Mesprit." Celebi threatened.

"You wouldn't dare!" Uxie retorted.

"Perhaps I should publicize those photos you took of her during the last Meeting?" Celebi spoke.

"Fine, I won't say a thing. You do know where to get all three ingredients, right?" Uxie asked.

"Yes, I do." With that, Celebi teleported back to her home in Illex Forest.

* * *

"Milk, sugar and honey. How difficult could it be to get three commonly used human products?" Celebi mused as she floated back and forth in her home.

"According to Uxie, I should be able to get milk from almost any Miltank farm. I can acquire sugar from any human shop, while honey should be found in any Combee hive." Glancing at the piece of paper that Uxie gave her, Celebi teleported off again, this time to a Miltank farm.

* * *

**Milk**

"This is going to be harder than I thought." Celebi thought as she hovered outside the farm. She had ensured that she was still in the time stream to prevent herself from being seen. As her eyes swept over the farm, she noticed bottles of Miltank milk in a warehouse slightly to the left of the main farming facilities.

"Perfect. I'll just go in, grab what I need and get out." Celebi thought as she phased through the wall and appeared in the warehouse. As quietly as she could, she grabbed a box of bottles and shoved it into the time stream, before re-stepping into it and vanished as though she had never been there.

* * *

**Sugar**

Celebi quickly walked toward the nearest convenience store she spotted. She had transformed into her human form in order to avoid attention. After all, which trainer wouldn't want to catch a Legendary that had simply walked though the front door?

Entering the store, she quickly located the sugar, grabbed a packet and headed for the checkout counter.

"Thank you very much! I'll come back later to buy mushrooms!" The man in front of Celebi said to the cashier.

"Stop that already! I told you that I don't like mushrooms in my rice!" A man beside the first one hissed.

"I don't intend to mix mushrooms into the rice, I intend to mix rice into the mushrooms!" The first one replied as he and the other person walked out. Shaking her head, Celebi handed the packet of sugar over to the cashier.

"Oh, crap." She thought to herself as the cashier scanned it. "I forgot to grab some human cash along the way here!"

"That will be two dollars." The cashier told her.

"Fine, I've got no choice then. It's a good thing that I'm the only one here now." Celebi thought.

"Please have compassion! I really need this sugar!" Celebi begged.

"But…" The cashier looked very uncomfortable.

"I need this to feed my hundred siblings and my two elderly parents!" The Legendary in human guise tried again.

"Alright, just go."

"Thank you!" With that, Celebi dashed out of the store. The cashier sighed, before turning around and meeting the gaze of her manager.

"What was that about?" The manager asked.

"Well, she said she needed it to feed her hundred siblings, so I let her go."

"_Dear Arceus…_" the manager thought. "_Who would ever fall for such a simple trick?_"

* * *

**Honey**

"Man…" Celebi, in her original form, thought to herself as she stared up at the hive around ten feet off the ground. "The difficulty's is getting to the honey within, not getting to the hive." She thought to herself. "Here goes nothing!" With that, she entered the time stream and floated upward toward the hive. However, as she reappeared, she had the extreme bad luck to materialize just as a Vespiquen returned. Instinctively, it used Attack Order, and all the nearby Combee started slamming into Celebi. She quickly teleported off before they could cause any major damage.

"That's not going to work." Celebi thought. Just then, she remembered that there was a Combee farm nearby and she teleported there, hoping to find what she needed. Fortunately, she was able to find some jars of honey in a box that was in the farm's shop, and she quickly grabbed them, before teleporting back to her home.

"Finally, I've got everything I need!" Celebi remarked as she studied the recipe given to her.

"Mix all ingredients together, then leave to boil for one and a half hours. Sounds easy enough." With that, she poured everything into a massive pot, placed it over a fire and started stirring.

"This is getting boring." She remarked. Grabbing the alarm clock that Mew had given her a few years ago, she set it to ring at twelve noon, exactly one and a half hours later. Placing it beside her, she fell asleep almost instantly.

* * *

**10.40 AM**

Inside Celebi's home, all was peaceful until a flash of light appeared and Mewtwo materialized inside. He glanced around, before spotting the pot and its contents.

"Celebi, your soup seems bland." He remarked to the sleeping Legendary. "Let me add in a few ingredients." With that, he tossed in various herbs and spices, before removing a bottle with the words "Liquid Nitrogen" on the label, along with many hazard warnings.

He opened it, before adding in a few drops.

"Now, it should taste better." The Genetic Pokemon remarked before teleporting off.

* * *

**11.00 AM**

Twenty minutes after Mewtwo had left, Latias landed on the outcropping leading to Celebi's home. She walked in, before noticing the other Legendary sleeping in a corner.

Latias was just about to leave when she noticed the pot. She peeked in, before shaking her head.

"Whatever you're cooking, it doesn't have the right color!" Latias sighed. She used her psychic abilities to teleport several tubes of poster paint from Bianca's home in Altomare, before squeezing their contents into the pot.

"This color doesn't look like my brother's skin at all! Guess that's why I prefer crayons." With that, Latias turned herself invisible, before flying off.

* * *

**11.20 AM**

"Now, Lugia, there's no way I'm cheating on you with Moltres!" Ho-oh said though a hand phone that he held in one wing. He had just landed in Celebi's home and was looking for a place to get rid of some 'evidence'. Spotting the pot, the rainbow-colored bird quickly used his free wing to toss in everything he needed to get rid of, ranging from flowers and berries to bracelets and necklaces. Just as he tossed the last of the 'incriminating evidence', his _other_ cellphone began to ring.

"Sorry, I got to go. Talk to you later!" With that, he hung up on Lugia and tossed that hand phone into the pot also. He used a very small Sacred Fire to increase the temperature of the fire so that it would melt everything he threw in, before quickly taking flight and leaving.

* * *

**11.40 AM**

"That Dialga… what right does she have to throw me out of the Spear Pillar?" Palkia swore as he stepped out of a spatial rift he made. He glanced around, before realizing that he was in Celebi's home and spotted the massive pot. He grinned, before re-opening the rift and stepping back in. A minute later, he emerged again, this time carrying loads of clocks in his hands.

"Let's see you keep track of Time now, Dialga!" He tossed the clocks one by one into the pot, before noticing the fire's temperature was not high enough.

"I'll rectify that mistake!" Palkia remarked, removing a packet labeled "Thermite" and carefully tossing a handful into the fire, which caused the fire to burn even stronger than before. Palkia grinned, before opening another rift and vanishing as though he had never been there.

* * *

**12.00 PM**

As soon as the clock struck twelve, it started to ring. Celebi groaned and opened her eyes, before remembering what she had to do next. Using her psychic skills, she extinguished the fire, before levitating the pot into another room. She poured the contents into various molds, before using her time-warping abilities to accelerate their cooling time. Briefly, she wondered if she should have done the same thing with the boiling, but pushed those thoughts aside. She hoped that Mew would not mind her intrusion, and teleported to the Tree of Beginning where he lived. Shaking her head to clear the disorientation, before realizing that she was near the place where the human named Sir Aaron had sacrificed himself a long time ago, as well as his friend and companion, Lucario, who did the same thing not too long ago. She paused for a moment, remembering their deaths, before extending her senses throughout the tree, searching for Mew. It didn't take her long before she found him and she sent him a message telepathically, telling him to meet her. After that, she hovered to the ground and sat down, waiting for him.

"You said you wanted to see me, Celebi?" Celebi turned to see Mew floating in the air behind her.

"Yes. Well, I uh… made some candy and I was wondering if you would like it." Celebi said, trying to keep her emotions under control.

"That's nice of you. Thanks!" With that, Mew grabbed a piece of candy and tossed it into his mouth. He managed, with effort, to chew and swallow the whole piece.

"So, how is it?" Celebi asked.

"Well… it has a very… interesting… taste to say the least." Mew said. "Try one for yourself."

Celebi nodded, before taking a piece and biting into it. Very soon, she realized that 'interesting' was an understatement for the taste.

"IT ISN'T SUPPOSED TO TASTE LIKE THIS!"

Mew simply watched with bemusement. "Anyway, I appreciate your effort, Cele. I'll take them anyway, as I can repurpose them." The moment he said that, Mew grabbed the remaining pieces of candy and teleported off, leaving Celebi alone to her own thoughts.

"I just hope the others make his death quick…" She thought to herself.

* * *

_Wow, it's a miracle that they're still alive after eating that. I wonder how many pieces there were in total… Review, by the way._


End file.
